The Invisible Load of Motherhood—And Why Mother’s Day Should Be More Than Brunch

The Invisible Load We Don’t See, But Mothers Always Feel

It’s the night-before scramble for a school costume, the mental checklist running during a Zoom call, the weight of being the one who notices when the last roll of toilet paper is gone. This is the invisible load of motherhood—an often-overlooked, emotionally taxing labor that doesn’t show up in calendars or paychecks but is always present.

As we approach Mother’s Day, we have an opportunity not just to give flowers or brunch reservations, but to finally acknowledge what many mothers feel: the deep, daily, and unseen work they carry.

Here’s a fun fact: According to a 2019 study published in the journal Sex Roles, women continue to perform more cognitive and emotional labor than men, even in households where both partners work full-time. This invisible work has been linked to higher rates of stress, burnout, and even depression in mothers.

At MotherBees, we deeply understand these challenges. Our work is rooted in not only nourishing the body but also recognizing the full picture of a mother’s life—mind, heart, and spirit.

What Is the Invisible Load?

Understanding the Mental Weight of Motherhood

The invisible load includes all the mental to-dos mothers carry without recognition: remembering birthdays, scheduling doctor appointments, planning meals, and anticipating everyone’s needs. This kind of labor doesn’t just drain energy—it chips away at a mother’s ability to rest, restore, and reconnect with herself. And because it’s so intangible, it rarely receives the respect and acknowledgment it deserves.

Dr. Lucia Ciciolla, a researcher at Oklahoma State University, explains in her study on maternal well-being that emotional labor and cognitive labor are central to women's roles in the family and significantly influence their mental health. Recognizing this burden is the first step toward addressing it.

It’s the kind of weight that follows even during quiet moments—when a mother takes a shower, she's thinking of tomorrow’s breakfast, a child’s missing sock, and whether the dog got fed. It’s a mental browser with 20 tabs open, always. That constant buzzing became the norm.

This is where moments of intentional self-care become revolutionary. The Tridoshic Body Oil is a nurturing blend that helps moms reconnect with their bodies, supporting balance and grounding. A simple massage after a long day can ease tension and bring presence to the body—one way to counteract the drain of invisible work.

A warm bath with Epsom salt, baking soda, and Borax, a few deep breaths, and this grounding oil to ease the knots in tired muscles—sometimes it’s the simplest rituals that return us to ourselves.

The Emotional Cost of Being “The Default Parent”

Being the default parent means being the first call when a child is sick, the one who stays up through nightmares, and the one who always knows where everything is. This ongoing vigilance takes a real toll on her nervous system—absorbing everyone’s emotions into her own body. Without steady support from a partner or family, it can affect her sleep, identity, stress levels, and sense of autonomy.

Research published in The Journal of Family Psychology found that being the default parent correlates with increased feelings of overwhelm and reduced satisfaction in both parenting and personal life. It’s not about resentment—it’s about the weight of carrying everything.

To support this emotional labor, consider integrating small daily rituals. For instance, using Rose Water as a refreshing facial mist can feel like a pause button on a hectic day. Likewise, the Magic Face Potion hydrates and uplifts skin, creating a sensory moment that belongs only to her.

These practices don’t fix the imbalance, but they offer moms small moments to return to themselves throughout the day.

A Mother’s Day Reflection

What Moms Really Want (Hint: It’s Not Just a Gift)

While gifts are appreciated, studies and conversations with real mothers tell a different story about what they value most: time, presence, and shared responsibility. In fact, a 2022 survey by Motherly revealed that 93% of moms feel burned out, and what they want most is rest and appreciation that extends beyond a single day.

This year, why not gift a ritual of relaxation? The Organic Sleepy Body Lotion is a gentle blend that promotes rest. Paired with the Peppermint Foot & Leg Rub, it creates a spa-at-home experience that soothes tired legs and acknowledges how far she’s walked—literally and metaphorically.

Give her something that feels like permission to exhale.

Redistributing the Load

How Partners and Families Can Share the Mental Work

Change begins with conversation. Start by asking: What do you carry that no one sees? Redistributing the mental load means more than helping with chores—it’s about noticing, anticipating, and sharing responsibility without being asked.

Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, suggests couples create an ownership mindset where tasks are fully delegated—from start to finish. This approach eliminates the default parent trap and allows mothers to reclaim energy and time.

In these moments of shared responsibility, mothers gain more space for care. The Makeup Remover Balm with Calendula and Unscented Body & Facial Cleansing Oil are simple ways to elevate a nightly routine. These grounding skincare practices are more than beauty steps—they’re acts of reclamation.

Rituals of Recognition

Creating Space to Honor Mothers Every Day

We need new rituals that validate the labor of motherhood all year long. From five minutes of uninterrupted rest to thoughtful notes of appreciation, small, consistent actions matter.

Daily touchstones like applying the All Purpose Salve or Ultra Healing Body Butter can be soothing rituals that reinforce care. These are not just products—they are tools for restoration. A short moment of attention to the body reminds mothers that their needs matter too.

As a family, consider building rituals like Sunday morning tea, tech-free dinners, or bedtime gratitude shares. These habits cultivate connection and respect—two things every mother deserves.

More Than Brunch

A Call to Honor Mothers with Heart

This Mother’s Day, let’s look beyond the surface. Let’s honor the emotional, cognitive, and spiritual work that makes up the invisible load of motherhood. Let’s gift presence, understanding, and shared responsibility.

The flowers are beautiful, but the real gift is being seen. The brunch is sweet, but the lasting gesture is lightening her load. Because every mother deserves to feel cherished—every day of the year.